Have you ever wondered why you are not approached by guys? Perhaps you’ve gone to an event expecting to be approached. You have on the best in your closet, and you look perfect. You walk into the building and see all the people that you can potentially meet. The night ends, but you leave the same way you came by yourself.
A sad story, isn’t it?
Well, there are several reasons why this happens, but it all sums up to this one thing. You are not approached because there are gaps between you and the person you want to meet.
Let’s go back to the scenario. You go to this event, you look good and then no one approaches you. The following are five gaps that are between you and someone new. Let’s begin!
You are not being approached because of the “Better Safe than Sorry, Gap.”
This is the excuse we make when we feel that the negative outcome of not approaching outweighs the negative outcome of approaching. You think that it’s better to miss out on an opportunity to meet someone than it is to initiate contact and get rejected.
You are not approached because of the “Never Talk to Strangers Gap.”
This is something that was taught to us as children. It was meant to protect us from adults who may hurt us. Now, as adults, some of us still hold to this warning. We are still scared to allow strangers to approach in fear that they will harm us.
You are not approached because of the “Wait on the Lord Gap.”
This is one of the most popular excuses that I hear. I had one lady say to me that she doesn’t believe in creating opportunities. Instead, she believes that when the time is right, God will send her the man. So instead of making an effort, she waits on the Lord, like when you wait for the mailman to bring a package to your doorstep. This mind frame prevents us from thinking that we can initiate a conversation.
You are not approached because of the “Women Don’t Approach Men Gap.”
A lot of women equate approaching a man to pursue a man and as a result, they don’t believe in approaching. Being the first to initiate a conversation is not pursuing. The women don’t approach men’s prospective results in meeting fewer people; then you would if you would just initiate contact with no intentions of pursuing.
You are not approached because of the “I Don’t Want to Be Misinterpreted Gap.”
Just because I smiled at you and just because you started a conversation with me doesn’t mean the next step is us starting a relationship. Because we are fearful that the person will assume that we want something more than just being friendly, we don’t smile or initiate contact. We don’t create approachable opportunities because we don’t want our actions to be misinterpreted.
I want us to have the courage to approach and not wait in vain for that special someone to approach us. I also want us to start feeling comfortable approaching any and everyone and not just who you find attractive.